Freaking Out!

Daily Prompt: Safety First

Share the story of a time you felt unsafe

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/daily-prompt-safety-first/

When I read this prompt, the first thought that came to my mind was RIGHT NOW!  Now don’t panic, I’m not in any dangerous situation or in need of rescuing – except maybe from my emotions.  Here’s the scoop:

We are leaving in three days for an almost two week vacation in the western part of the United States. My husband has been asking and asking to take this trip with the kids for years.  I finally agreed. Now, as the date approaches, I am waking up in a cold sweat each morning – or should I say ten times a night.  I have that infamous pit in my stomach all day long. My heart races at odd times and I can feel it in my chest.

I know logically there is nothing to fear. But, I just prefer my life to be safe and predictable. Traveling to five cities I’ve never been to in eleven days feels anything but safe. I’m uncomfortable with flying. I’m sure my teenagers are going to end up goofing off and one is going to fall off the edge of the Grand Canyon. I’m nervous about all the unknowns that will occur. I’m not a risk taker or an adventure seeker. I would be happy sitting in my rocker and watching the grass grow. Guess it’s time to be stretched.

But, mostly, I am afraid I’ll lose my edge when I’m tired or sick (migraines are a pleasant part of messing up my routine) and be sharp with my family. I just want to be kind and gracious towards my family – not selfish and grouchy.  I want this to be a wonderful vacation that we will all look back fondly. I know my sharp tongue can ruin the moment more than getting lost or having a flat tire.

Lord,

You know my heart – you made me. I confess my fear to you. I know any allusion of safely is just that – an allusion.  You are my rock, my fortress and the one I run to. I pray you will strengthen me from within. I pray my heart would be selfless, loving, kind and gracious. Help me to be quick to confess my failures when they occur. When things don’t go my way, help me to remember that my attitude and character are more important than anything we see or do. 

Thank you for this opportunity to make these memories with my family and to see parts of the world you created.  You are an awesome God. I pray I would do the next thing even when my heart feels like it will faint within me.  Help me to be able to hike in the Grand Canyon and not be afraid – and please keep my kids safe. I’m trusting in your faithfulness and pray these steps will help me overcome my fear. I don’t want to live in fear. In Jesus Name. Amen.